Wednesday, July 20, 2011

True Confessions, Part IV
day 61

The Perfect Bowl for Ice Cream by OC Pottery. Buy on Etsy 
where Handmade Artists Rule! 
14.)   If I could get away with eating ice cream every day, I would. Cones, sundaes, milkshakes, you name it, I'd do it. And not that hideous slow churn ice cream we now consume in my household, not that I'm Getting Older and Dragging the Metabolism of a Chia Pet Around Ice Cream. Nope. I'm thinking vintage Haagen Daz Swiss Vanilla Chocolate Almond and Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia. Ice cream that uses 22 egg yolks and five pound bags of sugar. Heart attack ice cream, that kind of ice cream.

15.) I love my cat, but rabid animal people make me nuts. When a person looks me dead in the face, pulls out a photo and says, "Ohhh now that you showed me your babies, let me show you mine," and hands over a photo of a snarling Rotweiler named Killer. I want to say, "Look lady. (because, it's never a man) You own a dog. Okay? It's not going to croon a tune, write a mortgage check, or drive to the 7 -11 in the middle of the night for emergency Slurpees and tampons. It can't operate a John Deere lawn mower, make you a martini, or stroll through the halls of NIH wearing a lab coat while doing research for a cancer cure. It's a dog. And for god's sake, stick that photo back in your purse!"

16.) I have never seen Gone with the Wind. I have seen snippets, and heard people reenacting the more notorious lines. Somehow, that has always been enough for me.

17.) I wish I lived in a 200 year old house with secret passages and a bespectacled butler named Alfred. His birth name would be Alfred, but I would call him Jeeves. He would constantly be bringing around the car just because I'd like saying, "Jeeves bring the car around."


Copyright Wanda Fleming, 2011


Marian Cates said...

Very witty and enjoyable list. I could also eat ice cream until I explode. That's why I don't have any in the house. I adore my Miniature Poodle but never thought of carrying photos in my wallet. Good grief, are these people trying to look pathetic?

Wanda Fleming of River Girls Soap said...

yes me too Marian...explode on!

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